Hello there Mrs. S

Isn’t it strange? The way things can change

The life that you lead, turned on its head


It’s hard, adjusting. There are moments you want to hide in the bathroom and cry for your mommy but then someone knocks and asks you if everything’s ok. You say “yeah, out in a minute” and wish you were back home where nobody panicked if you spent more than five minutes in the loo. The toughest thing about being married isn’t sharing one’s bed; it’s sharing one’s bathroom. It’s been a week since my wedding and it’s the one thing I can’t get used to.


Suddenly someone means more than you felt before

A house and its yard turns into home.


Everything changes. With one word repeated three times you hand the rights to your life to somebody else and accept the keys to his. It’s so difficult being responsible for somebody but oneself. My happiness is inexplicably linked to his. How’d that happen? Where was that in the nikkah clause? I didn’t sign up for this.


The first week of marriage is about learning. Slowly I’m getting the hang of having a husband; a new home and a new family. I’m trying to figure out how to blend in while still staying true to myself. Tall order, but I’m Pakistani. We’re the gods of immigration and cultural fluidity. I’ll manage.


The time that it took writing words for my book
Seems to have broken in half
The gate that I shut last time I got hurt
Seems to have opened itself


There’s power in the nikkah somewhere. You don’t feel like this before you’re married- even if you’ve been engaged for decades. He becomes perfect, flaws that were mildly irritating become endearing, a face that was endearing becomes essential for survival. It’s not just love anymore. I’m not sure whether it has a name, but it feels like you’re bound for life with every breath that he takes. That you’re finally where you’re meant to be.


Oh the world, its spinning now. It’s trying to catch me up
and tell me to appreciate the here and now


The uncertainty’s gone. That feeling when you woke up each morning not sure where life was headed…it’s in the past. It’s replaced with the belief that no matter what happens, and where life takes you, your rock will always be with you. That your ship will always have an anchor. It’s the most beautiful feeling in the world.


19 Responses to “Hello there Mrs. S”
  1. nahl says:

    To be honest, I’ve always been sorta scared of getting married and committed to a guy like the way we women get committed in a Pakistani society. Your post gives me hope.

  2. Pinky says:

    :/ how can you do this to me?
    now poor me wants a husband. NOW…

    by the way, some married women might disagree with this part; flaws that were mildly irritating become endearing 😉 i am not even married & endearing flaws become irritating and eventually unbearable…..ohhh i get it, m looking in the wrong places, eh? :mrgreen:

  3. shiny says:

    MASHALLAH. wishing you the best of the best future.

  4. anas imtiaz says:

    Sharing a bathroom is … cruel!

  5. Humna says:

    WHOA! you so totally made my day man! AWESOMEST POST EVER!

  6. beyond says:

    oh wow.somebody is in love:)

  7. Anonymous says:

    Even being engaged is a blessing. I didn’t take it this way when I was 😦

  8. Minerva says:

    Lovely post, Hiraness.

    Tall order, but I’m Pakistani. We’re the gods of immigration and cultural fluidity. I’ll manage.

    And may I say again I love the way you write. Don’t ever stop.

    Love you to bits and here’s wishing you a wonderful wonderful future ahead. Amen!

  9. Minerva says:

    I used the word ‘love’ three times in that above four-line comment.


  10. aarushi says:

    Awwwwwww, that’s so sweet, being in love is great 🙂
    All the best for everything that lies ahead and plzzzzz don’t stop blogging
    tk care

  11. Leena S says:

    oh lovely post, really sweet! 🙂

    and well, sharing was the easy part for me…we shared even our glasses, mugs and plates during the time he was here. it was more difficult to adjusting ‘not’ to be sharing stuff wen he left for sg 10 days later.

    I just hope u guys will have a great great future together. All the best darling…and i hope we are meeting over eid

  12. Congrats on the wedding!
    Your experience with the whole arranged marriage thing gives me some hope for this route to finding a spouse.
    Wish you all the best! 😀

  13. Absar says:

    James Carrington. Ache.
    That’s what marriage did to you? 😛

    Congrats dude.. or wait, should we stop calling you that now, since you’re quoting Carrington and all.. 😛

  14. Naureen says:

    MASHALLAH 🙂 It sound wonderful!!

    Good luck 🙂

  15. Leena S. says:

    exactly!! update hira!

  16. MINA says:

    hira u speaking this way… realllyy gives hopee to one 🙂

  17. Senilius says:

    Oh-kay, I’m never marrying now. NO BATHROOM SHARING! 😀

  18. ibteda says:

    ~sigh~ 🙂

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