Getting to know you
When you’re sitting opposite each other at a café table, there aren’t that many places to look without giving the idea that you’re avoiding what’s right in front of you. You can’t stare at a menu that long, you’ll seem indecisive. You can’t glance around at other people; you’ll just seem bored or judgemental, or worse, unhappy being where you are. And you’re none of these, but you’re just not ready to look straight ahead. Not ready to look things in the face.
I stare at people sitting at the other tables. Compare myself to the women around and wonder if he’s doing the same. I wonder how long it’ll be before I feel right in my skin. Before I trust what comes out of my mouth. When I feel deserving of his respect and love.
Insecurity is a killer.