Leechy Me

I am wasting away.

If there was any way I could get a job without having to give a single job interview, I’d go for it; even if it involved hanging a whiteboard around my neck with the words “hire me!” I hate job interviews. I suck at them. There’s a thin line between being confident and being obnoxiously arrogant and either I consistently overstep it, or completely ignore it and traipse into “Oh my Gawd!! Oh my Gawd! That’s the boss! HIDE!” mode.

Add to this the fact that I’m not particularly presentable and what you have is a tally of 4 job interviews and 0 job offers.

Now SSS has been kind enough to say that I don’t really need a job (I think he’s sick of hearing me whine about how I can’t find one) and that I can leech on him for the rest of my life, but I love my fiancé and the last thing I want is for him to dive into the parasitic relationship that is the usual Pakistani marriage. Plus, deep down inside me there is a little bit of pride left. Why should I leech on him? Why is he the only one doing the paying? I can take care of myself, can’t I?

I’ve always believed that the sexes are equal. And by that I mean that women have to take the good with the bad side of feminism. If we’re to be treated equal that means we fix our own flat tires, and open our own car doors and pay for our own meals. It’s sick that we expect the same opportunities but prove ourselves incapable of walking step by step with men. Marriage, to me, has always been about two separate people wanting to live their individual lives together.You Tarzan, me Xena (or Buffy). Not you Tarzan, me Mary Jane Watson.I need to respect myself first, before I can expect SSS to respect me, and I can’t do that if I feel I’m just an added responsibility.

You see, it’s all about balance. What you’re giving in return and what you’re getting. Other than the blackmail-worthy argument of “I- left-my-family-and-home-for-you”, women of the upper middle, and upper class don’t have much to give to a relationship other than some heavy credit card usage and children. Most women of that class don’t cook, or sew, or do much of the housework; preferring to tyrranically preside over a stream of servants their husband procures for them (how’s THAT for alliteration?). And considering their daily activities are little more than dropping their kids to and from school, going shopping, and socializing, while the more civic minded may start an NGO; I wonder why they bother to keep on existing. Is the purpose of our existence strictly getting married? After all… what do we contribute? Honest to goodness, what good are we?

My grandmother keeps saying a woman should not work because then she’ll start imagining herself equal to her husband. I don’t know, but I always felt there was something very very wrong with that statement.

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Comments
6 Responses to “Leechy Me”
  1. Golly Jee! Another femminism post…. Wo am I surprised or what!!!!

    No wonder women are so one dimensional! Talk about being a stick figure!!!

    Have a break… Have a Kit Kat!

  2. what is the real message of this post…

  3. MAK says:

    What i think is…..Being leechy is not something women should be ashamed for. It is the duty of the husband to provide bread and butter to the best of his abilities.

    What is difficult in being leechy is to live ur life while staying happy in those limited resources. This is what a women can do and should be proud of it.

  4. i am sorry to disagree with you Hira but woman and man are not equal and thats a fact

    nice blog though 🙂

  5. minerva says:

    I think that there’s something VERY wrong with that statement too.

    And pretty muhc most of hte comments.

    Men and women aren’t equal?

    They’re different but they’re equal, people. WHEN will the world learn to make that distinction?

    You can definitely salvage the self-respect you want by working if you want. But considering the role of the woman in our society, bringing up a family and taking care of hte household is her number one job and I’d be an idiot to tell you to give that up to get a job outside the house. I’ve been married 5 months and I can’t imagine working because if I did, there are so many things around the house that I couldn’t do. So initial couple of years, I think it’s important for women in our culture to kind of stick with the house for a while, learn the ropes and get comfy with the dailies. Once you’ve gotten those things under your wing (man, aren’t I cliche-savvy today!), you can safely begin to walk your own path. Take up a job or continue studying. And if your husband wants to pay for that don’t feel leechy coz this was a social contract and you both agreed to certain terms when you decided to marry each other.

    It’s not a perfect yinyang but it works.

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