Old life, I miss thee already
Don’t worry. I haven’t run away. Yet.
When I asked for a happening life, God, I did not ask you to send all the happenings You had planned for the next five years to be stuffed into this week. Really I didn’t. Love Your enthusiasm but honestly….
When you’ve got fifteen things running around your mind every second, it becomes difficult to focus on any one. And when every thought is a mini cluster bomb it becomes hard to duck for cover underneath the safe stuff one always knew about- books, music, pie, best friends…I’m coping, but when, until a few days ago all I had to worry about was the next day and if feeling particularly clairvoyant, the next week, now I’m worrying about the rest of my life. I did that anyway, but never so seriously. SCAD’s a dream, as is living and dying in an orchard, but this is scary reality. I mean, how in heaven’s name am I supposed to handle something that might actually happen?? How can I handle my thesis when I’m trying to not worry about how I can’t handle something that might actually happen? How on earth can I handle my parents who don’t seem to give a shit about my thesis and the fact that I’m worrying about how I can’t handle something that might actually happen?
How can I handle my parents at all?
My mother and father have officially lost their perspective. Yesterday my mother asked me to start writing a list of people who are invited. After the obvious khalas and chachis and mamus I realized we were progressing onto my parents second and third cousins and duur ke rishtadaars…
My dad (to mum) “Suno Dilnasheen ka naam likha tum ne? Mehjabeen ko bhi bula dena…”
Me: Yeh Dilnasheen kaun hain?
Mum: Tumhain Dilnasheen nahi yaad? Un ke ghar gaee nahi thi pichle saal?
Me: Jin ke ghar main zindagi main ek baar gaee huun aap un ko kyun bula rahe hain!?
Dad: Kyunke woh meri first cousins hain!
Me: But you don’t visit them! And I don’t even know who they are!
Mum: Jin ke ghar insaan ek baar bhi gaya hota he us ko is tarah bhulata nahi he. Aur tumhain kiya hum jis ko bhi bulayen? Chup kar ke naam likho.
Me: Kya maini mujhe kiya? Mangni meri ho rahi he!
Dad: Aur paese main de raha huun. Haan ab Banno aapa ka bhi naam likh dena…un ko bhi keh dein ge
Me: Un ka intiqaal nahi ho gaya tha?
Turns out I have 2 super powers; not only can I kill every electronic item within a 20 meter radius, I can also offend every person in a room with a single sentence.
Now you see why I’m worried? If my parents plan to go so overboard on my engagement which should, ideally, be a small function of around 30 people maximum (with me not attending), how over enthusiastic will they be on my wedding? And considering the sort of person I am, wouldn’t it be better for them that they invite less people so they are fewer eye-witnesses to any absurdity I might commit?
Do they want me to trip and fall on my face in front of a thousand people?
Or forget to even come?
Don’t they know me?