Here’s to you, Mr. President

When you wake up tomorrow the world will have become a brighter, happier, safer place. There will be no more deaths in Iraq, no more fuel and food embargoes on the Palestinian people, Gitmo will have closed down and the world will take a huge breath of relief that they can sleep without the fear of being bombed in the name of democracy and freedom for all.

For the not-so-bright people who’re reading this (you know who you are), I’m being sarcastic.

Where did the United States start going wrong?

I grew up in the States and though I’ve been living here long enough to consider myself purely Pakistani, it still hurts when I read Amreeka Murdabad written on the walls of the city. There’s a loyalty one naturally has to the place one is born in- regardless of how long one’s lived somewhere else. Home is anywhere you’ve felt you’ve belonged, and no matter how ugly it is, you still love it. It’s the reason your grandmother will still lovingly talk about Hindustan though she left it of her own choice, and your Mali will always call Mingora ‘watan’ or ‘mulk’ even though there’s nothing for him back there. There’s a strange connection between a person and his/her birthplace, which you can’t break no matter how hard you try.

And so… when Barack Obama was elected I felt not jubilation, but relief. He’ll make no difference whatsoever to the state of the world; he won’t cage up Israel, or become pro-Muslim, he won’t sign the Kyoto Protocol or treat Pakistan with respect, but he’ll do a better job of pretending he actually cares about the non-American part of humanity. Plus his speeches will make more sense. And for some reason that’s all we really want…knowing that America at least says it’s on our side. For four years the Muslim word will just celebrate Obama’s middle name and be awed when he talks to them.

And I shall have peace; not having to defend the place I was accidentally born in out of an inconvenient sense of loyalty, and not having to announce quickly before the verbal AK 47’s are pointed at me “Oye! I’m not American!” and then feel guilty for hours. After all there’s only so long logic and impartiality can fight angry hatred. How long can I keep saying “Pakistanis are their own worst enemy, America didn’t elect Zardari” and “Muslims are getting what they deserve.” Nobody wants to blame themselves, and why should they when they have America?

So here’s to you Mr. President. Jesus probably doesn’t love you as much as he loved George Bush Jr. but that’s pretty ok because the rest of the world does. And who needs Jesus when you have Hilary Clinton in your corner anyway?

36 Responses to “Here’s to you, Mr. President”
  1. SAWJ says:

    What’s so good about Hillary Clinton?

  2. jinkibachi says:

    & i was wondering why i got demoted from buddy to punchbag…guys born there have a history of treating us that way 😀

  3. minerva says:

    Love it, love it, love it!

  4. safiullahhussaini says:

    *MUTTERS IN HIS BREATH* “chicks and their blue passports… yada yada yada”….

    Lady nicely put…. I agree every bit. In the end…

    “New boss, same as the old boss.” He is the boss right? At least for Zardari!!

  5. Hira S. says:

    she and her husband are the biggest political machines in the country.

    @what used to be pinky
    i do NOT treat you like a punchbag! you are my friend and i am HORRIBLE to my friends.
    so, err…kinda sucks to be my friend or enemy…

    thought you would 😀

    what bey? am i supposed to hide the place i was born? i’m not frickn proud of it, but is it necessary i should be ashamed?

  6. safiullahhussaini says:

    Hahaha… Just playing with you! Actually I was expecting this reaction…

    Chill lady! qoute unqoute
    Dont take life too seriously, you ‘ll never get out of it alive!

  7. safiullahhussaini says:

    And relish the above comment… I did nt call you Dude! Should I start?

  8. Ali says:

    i hate it when people call girls dudes. i mean. why? this is not sheep in the big city so whats with the oxymorons?

    and yeah america didnt elect zardari and yeup muslims are getting what they deserve. except the palestinians. its not their fault all the other arabs are neutered by profits.

  9. farooqk says:

    Amreeka Murdabad!! Did it hurt?!! 😀

  10. safiullahhussaini says:

    Dude you forgot to point an AK-47!

  11. karachiwali says:

    nothing’s changed cept for the skin color of the president and the ‘Muslim’ middle name!
    lovely post, btw

  12. talhaabid says:

    Nothing will change!

  13. karachiwali says:

    Obama is the begining of the end….

  14. safiullahhussaini says:

    end of this blog? But it juat started!

  15. talhaabid says:

    LOL @ Obama is the beginning of the end…

  16. Hira S. says:

    actually, the end of Obama will come soon after he sees the Geo pin up. Any self respecting President would kill himself after that.

  17. SAWJ says:

    Dexter Ki Amman, how about updating the blog?

  18. karachiwali says:

    i actually dont remember leaving that last comment..the beginning of the end one.
    i never knew i could sleep-comment on blogs

  19. farooqk says:

    so you broke your toe and lost your memory!! lol

  20. karachiwali says:

    lol so now you know where my brain is 😛

  21. farooqk says:

    lol cant be a very large brain then can it?! 😛

  22. karachiwali says:

    u can imagine and now it has no protection either cuz of the fracture 😛

  23. farooqk says:

    lol aik walnut tor kay use half of it as a toe helmet! 😀

  24. karachiwali says:

    lol….but really i dont remember leaving that comment. I seriously think someone else let that comment with my name

  25. farooqk says:

    usmain photo bhee hai, so i guess if thats true someones got your wordpress password! :O

  26. Saad Ibrahim says:

    nah you just need the correct email address to show the Blavatar of that person

  27. Saad Ibrahim says:


  28. SAWJ says:

    LOL @ Blavatar!

  29. karachiwali says:

    exactly! whoever it is most probably has my email id…but i think i should change my password too but then if that someone had my password, he/she should have been doing something nasty with my blog :S

  30. Ok this is turning into an internet based Friday the 13th movie! Now the chick realizes her password has been broken and starts to scream and straight comes in Jason with his Axe!!!

  31. SAWJ says:

    Arey just ask Hira to give you the IP address. Match it with your records and you got the culprit. shows IP, right?

  32. SAWJ says:

    But it won’t work for Dial-Up or WiMax.

  33. SAWJ says:

    Should have a method for MAC, shit!

  34. karachiwali says:

    yea it does show the ip address

  35. Rashad says:

    why do I feel you are missing GW.Bush and singing this song?


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