Bijli, Mehndi, aur main

I am typing this in the drawing room, with no lights on and the door closed. My brother is in a catatonic state right now and I’m taking advantage of that by stealing his laptop, getting into wireless internet range and updating my blog without having to kick my sister off the pc downstairs. If everything goes according to plan Hani will never know of the evilness I have been up to.

How exactly is this evil, you might ask? Let me take you a few steps back in time to the day I put up this post about how I murder technological gadgets with a mere glance of the eye; and then remind you that my brother bought this laptop with his hard earned money working at Newburgh’s Dunkin Donuts as the-guy-at-the-cash-register (or whatever they’re called) and kisses it good night every night before going to sleep. I am putting 21 years of friendly relations between my brother and myself at risk.

By the way, while we’re on the subject, can someone please tell me how it’s possible that I can receive text messages but can’t send them? I go to cell phone-waale; they tell me it’s a problem with the service, and Telenor people say that their service is fine. Has anyone ever had this problem?

Oh crap. Something HAS happened. The laptop’s on charge yet the battery charging sign is stationery and the wireless has stopped working…oh shit.

And NO the battery is not full!

Ok no, it’s all good. The broadband thing was just fluctuating and the battery level seems to be a bit higher than it was 20 minutes ago. *huge sigh of relief*. Everything in Karachi fluctuates except the crime rate and the number of people that stare at girls who enter the great outdoors (aka outside the chaar-diwari). Those are our happy constants and the way one can be sure they really are in this great cosmopolitan quagmire.

So anyway, reason for this post. Last night was my cousin’s mehndi. Her family’s settled in the US and they’re getting the girl married to some guy here. Now silly us, we thought ‘chalo, 20 saal se Amreeka main hain, in ke yaan waqt pe kaam ho ga‘ blah blah etc etc.

Obviously, we were wrong.

Actually, my mum and dad were wrong. I was right *obnoxiously smug smirk*

The minute we enter, electricity vanishes. These people were told to rent a generator for one night! What happened to the contingency planning Americans are supposed to be so good at? Are Germans the only efficient people on the planet?!

We were crazy early, got there around 8 30. Event starts around 11; from contemplating killing flies by aiming at them with rubber bands, I graduate to killing myself. Survive the night somehow and get home by 1. Joy.

Highlight of the night: aunt who’s daughter is getting married says “tum log tau yahin pe rehte ho, tum kyun waqt pe aye?” then dashes off into the bathrooom to change.

Damn the predictable unpredictability of this city.

29 Responses to “Bijli, Mehndi, aur main”
  1. Anas Imtiaz says:

    The aunt was dead right 😀 I would never go to any such event before 11. In fact, if I had the liberty at my sister’s marriage I would have arrived there at a later time too 😀

    And BTW, SMS wali problem is usual and possible due to many reasons. It just goes away after few hours. I’m assuming you don’t need the technical explanation of the possible causes.

  2. Saad Ibrahim says:

    SMS problem: Message centre number messed up?

  3. Safiullah says:

    I hate Mehndis!!!

  4. Hira S. says:

    @ Anas
    it’s been 4 days. hasn’t gone away yet.

    And no, aunt is very much alive and had a ball at the mehndi. quite disturbing to see :S

    shayad…how do i fix it?

    @ Safi
    Feeling is mutual. i wish people didn’t expect me to come

  5. Saad Ibrahim says:

    i think its telenor
    goto sms settings of your cell and check the message centre number it should be this for telenor:

  6. Anas Imtiaz says:

    I didn’t mean ‘dead’ :D…i meant she was (dead) right :S

    @Saad: I always wondered how can one mess up with message centre number? I mean, whats the point?? This problem can be a result of hira’s mutant powers 😀

  7. Majaz says:

    This is cute for you… and sad for me. Cute because you’ve got so many people helping you out here and all I’m getting these days are random creepy stalkers who think they’re hilarious but are really just creepy. Comment moderation sucks (too much work) and it pisses me off everytime I check my mail.

    Kher, I hate mehndis/weddings/misc events if I don’t know the people or if it’s not someone I personally, personally know. These programs are usually ogle-fests for old aunties and young men and an excuse for ladies to flaunt all the good work their salons have put into them. I usually end up yawning after the first hour even if there are superduper dances going all around.

    As for you being technologically challenged, fear not. You’re going to get the hang of it eventually. Just keep bugging your brother and you’re gonna be a pseudo-technology-buff like me soon enough.

  8. Saad Ibrahim says:

    LOL probably! well it can happen when you change sims of different providers and your cell phone keeps using the message centre number of other provider
    we are not sure yet if its the message center number problem or something else
    restarting the phone can work too

  9. Hira S. says:

    haw haw! mutant powers strike again. telenor message center number is perfect and after trying out a warid sim, it seems the problem is IN my phone.

    i think the stalkers are people from Iqra. i mean, these losers only started showing up after you mentioned the play…

  10. Majaz says:

    My tracker shows otherwise. They’re mostly in the US. :s

    Kher hai. Moderation (probably not as englightened) zindabad.

  11. Saadat says:

    Regarding not being able to send text messages… you are not out of your account balance, are you?

    And Americans are punctual only when it comes to business meetings.

    Prayers for your brother’s laptop.

  12. Absar Shah says:

    Oh I used to have the opposite problem. Messages jatay thay, aatay nahi thay, unless I restarted the phone. In the end, I made peace with it and asked my friends to give me a missed call after they sent me a text. This way I knew when to restart my phone 😛

  13. easypie says:

    Have you ever crashed a wedding?

  14. Hira S. says:

    bhai sahab. i don’t want to go to the weddings i’m invited to, why would i possibly crash a wedding?

  15. SAWJ says:

    All goes well if the food is good!

  16. karachiwali says:

    i hate going to mehndis/shadis. im not one of those who would dance on mehndis. ja ker keroon kya!? it gets worse during winters…i mean i just cant wear silk wen its cold!

  17. Safiullah says:

    Holy crap!!! it is going to turn into one of those posts!!!

    I m bugging out before a crash and burn.

  18. Hira S. says:

    yeah. next thing you know, i’ll be discussing skin treatments with you, saffi 😛

  19. Safiullah says:

    Discussion implies a two way conversation, Lady, in a discussion on skin treatments it would be a one way conversation! cuz you would be saying and I would nt be listening.

    The only time I ever went to a dermatologist was to get my warts out. Turns out the lady was nt aprised of the new developments in medical sciences and went at it with a knike an a scissors, I was nine then!

  20. Hira S. says:

    too much information yaar… just too much information

  21. Absar Shah says:

    Yeah, Saffi. I can see what you meant by one-way-conversation. That was very one-way 😛

  22. Hira S. says:

    Lol! Safi you’re just too cute…

  23. Saad Ibrahim says:

    and sweet 😛

  24. Safiullah says:

    Ok Goddammit!!! I m not coming here anymore!

  25. Hira S. says:

    aw cmon safi. tum nahi ao ge tau mere comments kaun barhaye ga?

  26. PurpleDrifter says:

    LOL I think we’re giving safi a nightmare. :p

  27. Safiullah says:

    Lady You people dont know me very well, I m a nightmare to those who do!

    Besides I think I m getting the hang of this sweetoo thingy! a very good disguise to hide my very socially blasphemous attitude towards life.

    Reminds me of a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson…

    There is no privacy that cannot be penetrated, no secret can be kept in the civilized world. Society is a masquerade ball, where everyone hides his character, then reveals it by hiding.

  28. batty says:

    close save, girl 🙂
    losing a laptop is hell
    my vaio’s motherboard got fried cause of fluctuation 😦
    and i couldnt even claim warranty

    i misss my baby so mucch

    on the other hand…
    shaadis…theres no end to them

    and th later u go, the better

  29. Hira S. says:

    you’re right about shadi’s. i’m planning to not go to mine at all.
    and all my sympathies. A laptop is a guy’s best friend.
    Welcome to my blog batty!

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