It’s raining during the middle of shadi season; let’s hope it saves me from having to attend any.
I helped my mother make dhewri today. They’re laddus made of aata with nuts mixed in and taste like…well…like sweet aata with nuts mixed in. Not my favorite form of mithai but dhewris, it seems, are a necessary part of Gorukhpuri weddings. I don’t really understand why, considering it’s extremely hard trying to eat one; it crumbles into dust at the slightest touch and you can’t get more than a few powdery bits in your mouth at a try, the rest just dissolves into smoke on your sleeve, but I guess that’s the charm of traditions. They’re there because they’re there. No logical reason behind them.
Nobody in my family (other than my mum and an aunt) knows how to make dhewris anymore, but all their elders (well, the women at least) could. It’s funny the stuff we leave behind as we move forward. We shed traditions like snakes shed old skin- they no longer fit so off they go! None of this generation knows how to speak the old gorukhpuri that my eldest taya could. The avats and jaavats and dekh-yuns, and we understand next to nothing of the customs that they insist are part of our heritage. We absorb their stories in wide-eyed disbelief- but I doubt any of us can picture their life in India. I can’t even begin to comprehend how an entire wedding could be pulled off in 5 rupees- regardless what century it was.
It’s sad realizing that at some point in time even these dhewris will be a forgotten bit of my culture, like giving a ‘dhuuni’ to a bride is. Like making lapsi and puuri when it rains is, like the gathering of all the family women for the dupatta- takai is. I remember these from my childhood, they don’t happen anymore. After all, who has the time?
So rationally speaking, as one progresses one must discard the things one no longer has any use for. This includes superstitions, traditions, and clingy people who keep calling you in the middle of a nap to ask you whether you have someone’s address. Technically it’s the right thing to do.
But emotionally speaking, rationality should go hang.