Computers hate me, cellphones blink out when I approach and microwaves self destruct the minute they see me enter the kitchen. I have a superpower; I kill machines.
For example, my brother’s got the ptcl wireless broadband service installed and it works great when he needs the pc. But the minute I press the power button, the service dies. The lights on the little boxie thing connected to all the wires go berserk, and every web page I open tells me they couldn’t connect to the server BUT- and here’s the rub- the internet is working perfectly on my brothers laptop, upstairs and about ten feet away, through the wireless whatever-it-is.
I’m a mutant. Call me…hmm…this one’s a toughie.
Uff. How do the X men come up with their names?
Ms. McMurphy’s law?
Everything I learned in 12th grade physics has just flown out the window.
This hatred is mutual though. We’re just not compatible, machines and I, even though it is- in a way- a symbiotic relationship. I need my cell phone, and it needs me, nevertheless it takes infinite pleasure in killing itself whenever I require it the most (like during the middle of calls) while I try my hardest to give it as much physical pain as possible without causing permanent damage. This includes dropping it downstairs and forgetting it in public toilets. Don’t worry, it’s one of those ancient Nokias; nobody is going to steal it and it sure as hell won’t break.
The Amish, in Pennsylvania spurn technology.
Technology, atleast in Karachi, spurns me.
But then, as the only consolation I can find, technology in Karachi spurns pretty much everybody.
There’s barely any electricity so we buy generators and install UPS’s. Then when they break down we take out our emergency lights which give out a sickly white shine for about twenty minutes then flicker out with a gasp having run out of the little juice they have. Quickly we turn on our torches for a few seconds, before the batteries die because they’re cheap Chinese copies at high American prices, and finally finally, we revert to candles and laltains. We’re the non-complacent Amish.
Karachi gives you the benefit of being able to fit in any society at all, with or without electricity.
Aaj kal both my generator and UPS is dead. I’ve been dropped to ‘normal’ non- elitist, non burger level. Now it’s my house in perpetual darkness while the entire street is aglow. And being a burger and an ‘elite’, I can’t take that.
I have no qualms with the KESC. We use up more electricity then we produce, half the city steals, the other half fix the meters, and the few that pay the bill curse them so much they probably have booked seats in hell. What I can’t stand is myself being so dependent on electricity that 5 minutes without a fan drives me insane. And nothing pisses me off more than seeing the barabar wala house radiating more light than uranium. It’s all I can do to keep from putting sugar in their generator’s engine. In my defense, they have their meter ‘fixed’ as well.
I miss the days before generators and UPS’s where everyone became equal whenever the KESCwale or WAPDA (let’s not limit this to Karachi) felt like giving society a sermon.
no, not really.