Full Metal Panic- Fumoffu

My brother is an anime addict, and like other addicts he likes to spread the dope around. Now ever since he’s bought a terra-byte memory hard drive he’s been downloading anime like a manga-iac (haw haw, I made a funny!). Khaer, lame humour aside, his latest love is ‘Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu’, a manga tv series focusing on two teenagers Sagara Sasouke and Kaname Chidori who inhabit a typically anime-ish world of exaggerated insanity and hyperbolic stereotypes- in other words, high school. He forced me to watch the first two episodes and from then I was hooked.

Sasouke’s 17, is a sergeant in the secret organization MITHRAL (heaven knows what that’s an abbreviation of) and has spent his entire life on a battlefield. Lebanon, Vietnam, Ireland, the Holy City- anyplace there’s ever been fighting, he’s been there; he was the first diaper-wearing kid to master the art of grenade launching… and he has no clue how civilized Japanese society works- much less civilized Japanese high schools. And it’s student council president Chidori’s job to help him learn to adapt to normal people and situations, and keep from gunning down the school whenever anyone makes sudden movements.

It’s an adorable premise, though done to death if you think about it in purely Hollywood terms- The Terminator being humanized by young John What’s-is-face; Michael Douglas thawing under Kathleen Turner’s spell in Romancing the Stone, icy Joan Crawford falling for blind piano dude in Torch Song- yet for some reason we still haven’t gotten tired of it. Attaining the unattainable, unstoppable force colliding with immovable object, Schwarzenegger meeting spunky 12 year old…

Hasn’t everyone yearned for the one person they couldn’t get? Johnny Depp in my case, but there’s probably someone closer to home in yours.

And doesn’t every girl wish for a guy who’d beat the hell out of any UkP who looked at her wrong? Who’d take a stand for her, even if he thought she was being a complete idiot. The closest I came to falling in love with an anime character was when Sasouke- in Secret Service uniform- dons a teddy bear costume and attacks gangsters who’re bugging Chidori when she’s on a date. “It doesn’t matter who she’s friendly with, I will protect her.” Sigh, I became a puddle in the middle of the TV lounge.

For all our silk, make up and perfume, we women are barbarians at heart.

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