I know Jack

So yesterday I decided to quit reading newspapers.

But this morning I couldn’t help myself and opened Dawn again.

Then closed it.

Sigh, opened it again, turned to letters to the Editor and looked around for something slightly derogatory about Zardari.

I know, I know. If I want to read something insulting towards him all I have to do is click on any of the blogs on the right hand side of this page and indulge myself to the vitriolic witticisms of the younger (and smarter) generation of Pakistan’s intelligentsia, but there’s something deeply satisfying of reading one’s thoughts expressed by a complete stranger in print.

Khaer, needless to say I didn’t find anything. Not that I expected to.
But then it hasn’t been that long. I guess I’ll give people time.

End of part 1.

Anyway, this is all beside the point. The point here is: Man, I better start
visiting art galleries more frequently or I’ll lose any bit of artistic-pana I ever had.

I went to the VM Rangoonwala gallery recently for a small exhibition held there by some of the most noteworthy artists of Pakistan and I felt like an idiot. What use are 3 years of art history and art appreciation courses if all I could appreciate were the prices?? THIS is the drawback of being the daughter of a CPA- you know the price of everything and the value of Jack. And even Jack seems a tad bit too expensive for his worth.

So there I stood, staring at a wooden board with needles embedded in it and wondered.

And then I decided to move on. Fat curator lady was on the round and she might ask me what I think.

Truth is, I actually DID try thinking. I thought and thought in front of the Aluminum blobs fixed onto the black surface and came up with nothing. Then I decided to think in front of Mohammad Ali Talpur’s ‘Machine Art’. This is a pretty complex painting composed of lines, and more straight lines forming a sort of Union Jack (and there he is again) cross in the middle and then I realized that this is probably how a South Dakotan farmer would feel looking inside the Large Hadron Collider, except that unlike myself (as of today), famers actually read newspapers and usually know what a Hadron collider does, whereas i…was lost.

Then it dawned on me to look around the painting in case there might be a small abstract describing what it was about or what it was hoping to signify. Once again, I found Jack, grinning at me like the blooming ass he is.

And what’s worse is that people in my class actually expected me to understand some of this. To be honest, even I expected myself to understand some of this. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it somewhere- dunno kidhar- but I’ve taken 3 years of art history and art appreciation courses and actually gotten A’s in all of them, thus I should sure as HELL understand what an average artist wants to depict in his painting, sculpture etc. So why oh WHY am I staring at this canson sheet showing a half-open, lipstick-smothered-mouth and two horses’ backsides, like Britney Spears would stare at a carburetor?

PS: By the way, there’s one good thing about studying history in any form; you can spot where it’s trying to be repeated, or in this case, replicated. One of the pieces featured in the show was ‘True Lies’ by Mirza Abbas Qamar- or some such name, my memory’s fuzzy on this point- and it was a wooden tile with “This is not by Mirza Abbas Qamar- or some such name” carved on it. Now us Art History freaks know that Magritte’s very famous painting of a pipe titled “This is not a pipe” was…how shall we say this? Ah yes, Famous. In other words, well known, or to make it even simpler; can be found in art history books if you bother looking.

PPS: Khaer, who am I to judge anything? I don’t even know what that mouth is doing between two horse’s behinds anyway. In fact, all I know is Jack.

8 Responses to “I know Jack”
  1. Majaz says:

    Jack is good. Jack is safe. Stay with Jack for a while.

    Socrates did too.

  2. Hira S. says:

    I wish Jack wouldn’t try to make me look so dumb though.

    Uff mahwash…there was this guy who’d mixed two lollywood based jigsaw puzzles together and called it Lolly loves Bolly in the woods and was selling it for above 100000 rupees! thats 6 bloody zeroes!

  3. Majaz says:

    Holy smackaroos!

    Lolly loves Bolly?

    Open your own art gallery, Hira! So you can show these morons that art isn’t supposed to be a nightmarish comedy act!

  4. Hira S. says:

    Mine’s more nightmarish. pop art-ish collage featuring BB, Z A Bhutto, a noose and bulletholes.

    I can’t wait til my thesis ends and i turn towards things that don’t give me nightmares.

  5. Shiza says:

    Nice blog man.
    Love your banner.
    Will take out some time and read some more posts.

  6. Majaz says:

    If what gives you nightmares can do that same for others, you’re golden.

  7. Majaz says:

    same thing*

  8. Hira S. says:

    aww thanks Shiza. Made it myself, was meant to be printed on a t shirt but decided it’d make a cute blog banner too.

    n Mahw, i think zardari gives all of us nightmares. KkB did everything except grovel in the US.

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