Sleepless in Seattle is an awful movie. Meg Ryan’s a stalker, the kid is obsessive and psychotic and Tom Hanks is a dork. The only good line in the movie is when Hanks screams at Jonah about how Fatal Attraction scared the hell out of him; in fact it scared the hell out of every man in America. BUT (and here’s the catch) he’s not a bit freaked when he sees Meg Ryan everywhere; and when he realizes she flew all the way from Seattle to New York (and flew to Boston before) to see him. If I was in his place, I’d have turned and ran. She’s a stalker, you ass!!! Like Glen Close! She’ll take that teddy (called Howard by the way; how lame is this kid?) and boil it if you fight with her!!
Stalker Meg with Howard the dead duck.
But what I don’t get is how this deeply shitty movie can be a perennial favorite of rom-com lovers. Sleepless in Seattle is truly disturbing; though not as much as “While you were Sleeping”. That movie is terrifying. Think. While this man is comatose, this woman pretends to be his fiancé, insinuates herself with his family, and snags his brother. And then when he wakes up she says: hey there! you don’t remember me because you have amnesia. And then his uncle tries to trick him into marrying her. How sucky must this guy’s family be?
Mercifully, the 90’s are over. Now romantic comedies try not to be completely insane (Bridget Jones being the one exception), preferring to walk the thin line between cutely brainless and absurdly surreal. It’s too much to ask them to be intelligent; but at least they ATTEMPT to keep it real. They don’t usually succeed, but they get at least passing marks for effort.
Personally, I liked Love Actually. I found Colin Firth’s Christmas Eve rush to France idiotic (hel-lo, couldn’t this be done later? Like maybe after the family dinner?) and the Prime Minister not being able to get the address of one of his former employees equally inane (the MI6 must really be going to the dogs); but Emma Thompson and Keira Knightley’s storylines were sweet yet bitter, and to a certain extent, real. I like happy endings (really I do) but I don’t like Hollywood’s way of making things ecstatically happy. I think the Rom Com tradition of the epiphany and the rush-through-crazy-traffic-jam or the epiphany followed by the jumping-onto-the-plane-and-going-to-France-to-tell-the-One-
I-love-you has been done to death and should be replaced with the epiphany and the walk to the telephone to tell the One I love you. Or chalo ziada se ziada, call him over for a drink and tell him I love you (after the epiphany, of course). I mean, it’s not like the sales will drop exponentially or something. After all; the starting animosity, drunk sequence, dance sequence, other person who also seems to like protagonist but doesn’t really, misunderstandings galore, and final speech by guy/girl who’s the One, and final kiss will all be there. You’ll get your moneys worth, honestly.