Hira is loopy
I will lose myself someday. One day, completely out of the blue I’ll realize I misplaced myself somewhere; probably at the supermarket, or on the way back from my nani’s, or in the kitchen. And I will search like crazy, reciting innalilahi wa inni ilaihi rajioon continuously, but will still not be able to find myself anywhere. And I’ll worry and fret, curse my carelessness and irresponsibility without realizing that I’m right where I put myself. Nobody’s stolen me, or thrown me away, because frankly, not many people ever do bother to take what doesn’t belong to them.
The average person doesn’t steal, or lie, or cheat needlessly. It’s so much easier to tell the truth, use one’s own things and study. People are instinctively good. It takes so much effort to sin…lying for example. Other then the sheer torture of saying something we know so obviously to be false, the strain of having to figure out how to back your lie up so that it seems believable, is awful. It’s so much simpler to say “fuck it man, here’s the truth. Take it or leave it.”
By the time I’m 40 I’ll be carrying around little cards which will remind me of my name, address, and current destination (in case I want to go get eggs at the local grocery and end up wandering aimlessly by tyre shops). I’ll also need cards telling me which section of my purse I keep my wallet in, and a card to tell me which pocket I’ve kept the cards telling me which section of my purse I’ve kept my wallet in. I will be senile by my 30’s. My children will grow up taking care of their mother. Woe woe woe.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to take responsibility for myself, or for my belongings. I need a secretary. sigh…but who’s going to pay him?
just an afterthought: if being in love seems tough, try falling out of love and having no one believe you.