0. Lift off

Didn’t expect me to be online today, didja?
That’s a hundred bucks (read dollars) for me, courtesy Absar. Yeay, shopping!
So November 6th is actually here. And I STILL can’t type at all. Mehndi and these extremely annoying nails make typing harder than clipping grass with tweezers on a football green.
I’ve realized long hair and nails are [...]

8.

Hmm.
Where do I begin?
Bilal
This is Bilal.

This is how he looks like all the time. His expression never changes. It’s freaky.
Bilal’s my cousin. I’ve spent 23 years of my life being either annoyed, ignored, or verbally assaulted by him. I’m pretty sure he has a crush on me.
Bilal’s also  scary lazy. His idea of a good [...]

24- Dear God, the freaking out has started!

Let me tell you how I feel.
I haven’t written any stream of consciousness post for a long time. I think I’ll give it a try right now. I’m in that place in time where all I want to do is get it all out. Take emotional laxatives… just release. I wonder why potty is such [...]

33 – II

Shhh…
Let me tell you something.
Close the door first.
No, check that there’s nobody outside then shut the door.
All clear? Positive? Good.
What- do you expect me to scream it to you across the room?? Come closer!!
Ok…now promise you won’t tell anyone…done? OK, here goes.
*takes deep breath*
I don’t like women.
I never have, I doubt I ever will.
And this [...]

42- but 39. Uff. Whatever.

42
Disclaimer- This post and the author of it bear no ill feeling to Malinga. He is a great player, and I’m sure must have a wonderful personality.
I don’t know why all of you insisted you wanted to read this. You’re not missing much- just the extreme superficiality and shallowness of yours truly.
Oh well. As if [...]

63

My mother and I are- different.
She’s a social phenomenon. I’m a bit verbal-accident prone.
She drives like a maniac- Nascar should be glad to have her. I drive. And that’s a big deal. Really.
She spends her days in a whirlwind of energy doing good deeds and completing the leftover tasks of others. I spend my days [...]

Day 70 (also known as 70 days left)

Influenza, she wrote
I don’t fall sick gracefully. You know how in Hollywood movies, the heroine lies dramatically on a couch covered in a shawl and people swarm around her, carrying juices and looking sad? Well that’s never me. I go around looking miserable with a filthy bit of tissue paper stuck between my nose and [...]

Bitch-ari

I feel gossipy.
A ‘friend’ just got married recently and I felt that, for old time’s sake, and to make sure she’s successfully out of our lives, I should attend. Also it provided me a chance to meet up with a few people I actually did care about, and not have to pay extravagantly for the [...]

Leechy Me

I am wasting away.
If there was any way I could get a job without having to give a single job interview, I’d go for it; even if it involved hanging a whiteboard around my neck with the words “hire me!” I hate job interviews. I suck at them. There’s a thin line between being confident [...]

Return of Ze Moi

You ‘ve probably wondered whether I’m still alive. I wouldn’t be surprised if you thought I’d been murdered and buried somewhere, though honestly, if I’ll ever be murdered and buried under a parking lot or construction site it’ll be after 6 months. I don’t think SSS’ll let me die right now. For some reason, I [...]